They're going to get pissed off at me.[br]I don't even have a watch...
You're moving or what?
I forgot about the carpet[br]in the apartment.
Learn how to drive!
Grumpy old man!
Where's the second gear?
Please Not Now!
- Hello.[br]- Is that her?
I have a good excuse Philippe...
A wonderful excuse.
I've heard that one before...
When you know[br]you're going to thank me.
So thank you.
You don't believe me?
That's typical of you.
I sold mother's heirloom to buy you a[br]watch and all I get is you yelling at me.
Me?
I've just lost a contract because of you.
Three pages in color for America.
500000 francs that's all.
What I did was much more important.[br]I found it!
Who?
Who? The apartment.
There she goes again.
Serge! Set up the lights.
Bernard! Set up the lights.
It's what you wanted...
Sorry Marie-Jeanne.
Exactly what you wanted.
It has a huge living-room[br]an alcove for the bed a kitchen...
...a bathroom with great storage space.[br]It's on Henri-Martin Avenue.
Six million...
...and... twelve million in two installments.
- You want me back tomorrow at 3 o'clock?[br]- Please.
Bernard! The fridge.
The Marie-Claire contract.
- Should I put on my fake lashes?[br]- No no need.
Then I'm ready!
I knew you'd like it[br]so I asked them to hold it.
You left a deposit?
No I didn't have any money on me.[br]But I told them we'll come tomorrow.
Hey your pants!
Oh my pants.
What's your name again?
Are you mad? Sophie.
You know what it means in Greek?
- Sofia?[br]- No.
It means wisdom!
For the past 18 months we've been dating...
...you've wanted to move to[br]14 different places.
You should open a real estate agency.
- That's all you have to say?[br]- Lie on the hammock!
- Here?[br]- Yes.
You're sure it's going to hold?
Yes yes. Don't worry.
- You're not my ducky anymore?[br]- No not here.
Then tell me something nice.
I love you.
"I love you you love me[br]we will love each other...
"Until the end of the world...
"And since the earth is round...
"There's no need to worry my love."
I'm not worried.[br]But everybody's waiting for you.
So you understand what's happening dear?
You're in the desert. It's over 100 degrees.[br]You're thirsty.
What are you doing?
I try to look like a little kitty.[br]That's what suits me best.
Please darling. We're already[br]behind schedule because of you.
So you drink it's cool and refreshing[br]and you're alive again.
Open up to 6.3.[br]The background doesn't matter.
- Bernard the rifle.[br]- Oh sorry.
- Right there against the wall.[br]- Quiet!
I feel nauseous.
Just what we needed!
Please concentrate.[br]Don't put on that silly face.
Okay look as stupid as you want.
Do you need a hand?
I'll be right back. Carry on.
- Where is he going?[br]- Nevermind. Stay there.
Quiet on the set. Don't move!
What's wrong with her today?[br]She's crazy!
Sorry we're running late with the shoot.[br]I'll see you at Flore's at 6:00?
At Flore's? Oh yes I love that...
- Is it going alright?[br]- Yes yes.
Who was hooting at you?
Antoine. He wanted me to come with him[br]to test-drive the new Ferrari.
You know the new sedan...[br]What a car!
But we're late right...
- Okay so lift your arm a bit.[br]- Don't touch me!
We're going?
Where to?
- Shall we?[br]- Let's go!
Francoise Sagan![br]Right there!
I would have thought[br]she was younger than that.
Watch me at work...
- Oh mother![br]- No you're mistaken young man.
Oh sorry!
Thank you.
Late.
"It was Blücher..."
- Have you been waiting for long?[br]- No.
Isn't it sad to see such a[br]young and healthy guy...
...wasting his time in bars instead of[br]working like everybody else.
- Pascal two teas.[br]- Coming sir.
Let's assume...
Let's assume that tonight[br]you find me especially sweet...
Far sweeter than yesterday[br]or the day before...
We leave here. We go dancing...
Maybe slow-dancing...
...and all of a sudden I get lucky...
...I make you laugh.
Without realizing it[br]you're at my place...
I take your dress off.[br]I undress you completely...
It's 3:00 AM... I turn the light off.
- Or I leave it on how you like it...[br]- You turn it off.
A few hours later...
...imagine you wake up in my arms.[br]What would you say?
I would say that you weren't[br]too good with the ears!
I can tell you now.[br]I've heard a lot of bad things about you.
That you were the kind of guy who would...
A bastard?
And me I heard that you were[br]one of those rich Americans...
...who came to Paris for a bit of...
...a bitch?
- That's it I'm in love![br]- Where?
There look...
- Me too![br]- Too late.
Look she's got a present for me.
You see? What do you think it is?[br]The wallet from Hermes?
It's a little big.
- So it's the cashmere from Dior?[br]- Looks more like a cake.
That's sweet anyway.
I'll make you pay for this!
She doesn't mess around your girlfriend.
- He got what he deserved.[br]- That's for sure.
- What should I do now?[br]- Help him get clean.
- You think?[br]- Yeah.
You go or I go?
No you go. You're better than me.
- There's some left there.[br]- Get off me!
- What did I do wrong now?[br]- This morning was not enough?
- But I love you...[br]- I don't care. I couldn't care less.
It's over between us. Understand?
It's not true!
Are you out of your mind or what?
No I'm a woman!
Exactly we are women[br]therefore weak therefore forgivable.
Nobody asked you!
Don't think you're getting off that easily.
She spares you the vulgar jealousy scene[br]and instead...
...gently lands a pie in your face.
And you still find something[br]to complain about!
He's right. You should be[br]ashamed of yourself.
- Are you asking for a fight?[br]- You're asking for one!
Leave Philippe alone!
Is it over now?
That's the last time I come to your rescue.
We're impulsive even aggressive[br]but after what happened...
That guy is annoying me behind the door...
Are you done behaving like a little girl?
Do as you please.[br]We're not together anymore.
Paris is a wild and exciting city.
So Philippe...
- What does she want again?[br]- Let me speak!
Sorry darling.
What did he say?
We were born alone we will die alone.[br]So let's try not to feel too alone in between.
He really said that?
No he didn't really say that.[br]But it's true. Come on.
You don't waste any time do you?
- Neither do you.[br]- What do you mean?
I've known you for five minutes[br]and you're already making a scene.
Leave me alone.
Bravo! Very good![br]Not only do you feel cheated...
...but your sweetie pie leaves[br]with a gorgeous woman...
...and we have to go back downstairs...
...defeated humiliated ridiculous.
One minute.
Look at you... with such pretty eyes[br]such a pretty mouth and all the rest...
We're entitled to be self-assured.
We're going to go down you on my arm...
...happy triumphant like a queen!
Happy I can't.
But like a queen I'll try.
Let's go.
- Good job right?[br]- Yes sir.
- Allow me to introduce myself...[br]- Okay okay. Excuse him. He's a well-bred.
Are you saying that for me?
You're adorable. You're a model.[br]You've taken dance classes.
You've been in Paris[br]less than two years now.
How do you know?
Who's your friend? Sherlock Holmes?
Model because maybe[br]I've seen your picture.
Dancer I can tell by your walk.
Like Baudelaire would say...
"Even when she walks[br]she looks like she's dancing."
All right. But how did you guess[br]that I've been in Paris for two years?
Because after two years[br]we get less hot-headed... more civilized.
- Waiter another tea with milk.[br]- Without milk!
- My figure.[br]- I see.
So my name is Claude.[br]This is Alain and you are...
Sophie. Do you know[br]what it means in Greek?
Wisdom.
He knows everything your friend.
Everything. You know...
So should we go to the movies?[br]What do you say?
Not too fast. I'm not sure you understand.
We came downstairs together[br]thank you...
...not down the aisle.
Okay we don't have to commit.[br]We can still be friends.
Exactly. We don't have to commit.[br]Bye now.
This is great what you're doing really.
You have your ways of talking to women.
A girl who has just been dumped[br]has only two solutions.
Go back home and sob all night[br]or get her revenge.
You chose to sob.[br]That's your right. I understand.
What shall I do to get my revenge?
Sit down.
Okay I'm getting my revenge.[br]That'll teach him.
Congratulations![br]You'll see I'm a funny guy.
- You're quick above all.[br]- What's wrong with you?
I think I get the credit for making Sophie stay.
You seem to forget who went[br]to get her in the first place.
- You're not going to have an argument now![br]- Fine.
Let a cart race decide who wins.
- Best of three laps.[br]- All right.
- Who wins what?[br]- The privilege of helping you.
Oh alright.
- It's not dangerous at least.[br]- Oh no!
What are you doing?
I won. I'm taking Sophie back home.
You didn't win. She did. Not you.
True but I still came in ahead of you.
It doesn't matter.
Okay. Let's race for two laps without her.
What for? You must know by now that[br]women always decide not men.
- I didn't decide anything myself![br]- You see? Let's go!
- They're completely nuts those two.[br]- Gentlemen gentlemen!
- I warn you I'm going to bed.[br]- No!
And why not?
Brake for God's sake!
You see. We have a duty[br]not to leave you alone.
It's too dangerous.
I see only one solution drinking.
What?
- A small glass never...[br]- That's for damn sure.
- Only problem being that I never drink.[br]- Really? A religious thing?
No my figure.
Do you know the one about[br]the two nuns caught in a storm...
It's not dirty right?
What I like about Sophie is her purity.
That's why you came to speak to me?
No that wasn't me. That was Claude.
I was watching you and I was saying[br]"that girl could never look cheap."
- Really? That's what you said?[br]- Yes really.
Maybe we should start[br]thinking about the psodathrosis.
The what?
Yes we chat and chat and[br]we end up forgetting about work.
And what do you do?
We're surgeons. And we're[br]performing surgery tomorrow.
If I have a kid one day I'd like him[br]to be an architect or a surgeon.
Architecture it's only piling stones you know.
Our profession saves lives.
Unbelievable.
Not bad for someone who[br]claims she doesn't drink.
Sing us a song.
"I love you you love me[br]we will love each other...
"Til the end of the world...
"And since the earth is round...
"There's no need to worry my love!"
That's it... I'm home.[br]Good-bye now.
You've been very nice good-bye.
- You want to see me in a bikini?[br]- Yes. Here?
- Okay come.[br]- You're going to catch a cold.
Don't worry.[br]Close your eyes...
One... two... three.
What bastards!
To do that in your own street.[br]It's disgusting.
Alain help me.
- You having fun down there?[br]- You don't know what you're missing.
Take me down.
Okay I'll do it myself.
Come and help me you lazy bastards!
Come down. We're going to help you.
You didn't think I was talking to you officer.
No we never think when we're out in the field.
We only start thinking at the police station[br]at 10:00 a.m.
Let's go tough guy.
Oh not that tough you know...
You must be mistaken.[br]This gentleman is my friend.
Friend or not he shouldn't[br]vandalize billboards...
...or speak irreverently[br]to public officers on duty.
- But he wasn't really...[br]- Do you want me to arrest you too?
- Where do you live?[br]- Here.
Here? Okay let's go.
Get some strong coffee. You two[br]love birds will feel better tomorrow.
Good night Mr. Legrand!
Good night Mademoiselle.
- Are you ashamed of me?[br]- No that's not it.
Mr. Legrand is a very nice man.[br]But he told me...
...that if I bring a man back home[br]he'd kick me out.
Please sit down.
- I hope you don't mind the mess.[br]- Not at all.
A girl as beautiful as you a cover girl...
...you can't be very fond of domestic chores.
Me? Quite the contrary.
I'd love to take care of my house and[br]do some cooking but I never have the time.
Maybe I'm not cut out for the kind of life I lead.
Talk talk talk[br]that's all I'm doing.
I shouldn't keep you here.[br]Good bye.
Impossible. We have to wait for Mr. Legrand[br]to fall asleep. Your reputation...
Oh yeah.
Where are my slippers?
Excuse me.
I can see them.[br]They're under the chair.
Thank you.
Can we play a record while we wait?
No after 10:00 p.m. it's too late.
You're right your reputation...
- You look good as a brunette as well.[br]- That's not me.
That's Granny Colomba from Corsica.[br]A wonderful woman.
She gave me this bed.
I love having a big bed so I can[br]stretch out when I sleep.
Over there there's a beautiful object.
It was given to me as a gift by a Hindu prince.
Prince Schribouyoune Bayane.[br]Do you know him?
Look it swirls in the light.
What about a final drink?[br]To Colomba's health.
I think we've drunk enough already.
- Some coffee instead?[br]- All right coffee.
I'm tired. I'm going to put my pajamas on.
I have to get up early tomorrow.
- Are you taking a shower?[br]- No it would be too noisy.
Hey...[br]You still want coffee?
Of course why not?
Just asking.
- I must be torn to shreds.[br]- No you're fine.
I was so scared.[br]Do I still have my lashes?
It's Mr. Legrand.
- What's going on?[br]- It was a gas explosion!
- I'll call the fire station.[br]- No no need. It's fine.
Okay I'll leave the door open[br]in case you need anything.
- Don't hesitate to call me.[br]- Okay thank you.
Is there a fire?
No it's over.
- You really scared me Sophie.[br]- What a day huh?
I don't want you to use[br]this stove anymore all right?
Mr. Legrand is right. So many[br]accidents are happening these days.
Imagine if the explosion had damaged[br]these beautiful shoulders...
this beautiful neck...
these beautiful...
You're naked!
You know why I came here.[br]Don't you want your revenge anymore?
With you it wouldn't be revenge[br]it would be cheating on him.
You want me to leave?
Yes please.
So you want me to leave[br]because you like me?
Yes. Are you mad?
Because you like me I'm going to[br]walk the streets to try find a cab?
Not to mention the landlord[br]I'll wake up on my way out.
What will he think of you?
Okay you can stay.[br]But you sleep on the floor.
Alright.
You're going to swear to me on your...
- Do you have a mother?[br]- Yes.
- Is she alive?[br]- Yes.
So you swear on her head that[br]you're not going to try to touch me.
You don't trust me?
You swear or you leave.
I swear.
- Who is it?[br]- It's me Marie-Jeanne.
One sec dear. I can't find the key!
- Who is it?[br]- It's Marie-Jeanne. Be quiet.
- And?[br]- And you have to hide. Quick!
Why? We didn't even sleep in the same bed.
She's Philippe's assistant.
Go and hide in the bathroom.
Help me with the mattress first.
This is tough.
No there there.
What are you doing stupid!
Go and hide. Close the door.
- It's broken.[br]- Then slip under the bed.
- I can't.[br]- Then get under the mattress.
It's taking you long.
Coming... I've just found it.
Hello. Oh geez.
What noise you're making[br]trying to find your key!
What a mess your room is!
The gas stove exploded.
As usual...
No! Come sit here.[br]It's more comfortable.
You haven't asked what brings me here?
Yeah you're right.[br]What brings you here?
You must be very brave...
- I thought you never get the hiccups.[br]- Only when I'm upset.
Listen Philippe called me this morning.
He is all right?
Yes he's fine.
- Listen...[br]- Sorry it must be nerves.
Philippe asked me to manage[br]the studio for 2 weeks.
That's wonderful!
Poor darling... Philippe is leaving[br]tonight for Villars-de-Lans.
He asked me to book two berths on the train.
So he's not too mad at me after all.
He's leaving with Barbara Wilbury.
He's been after her for a month now.[br]I didn't want to tell you. But then...
What?
I thought it's better you know about it.[br]At least you won't look stupid.
You know Philippe wasn't[br]the right guy for you anyway.
And you weren't the right girl for him.
But we've been dating for 18 months.
You were only an accident in his life.[br]A very charming one though.
So you think it's all over?
Against Barbara Wilbury forget it.
She's tall and scrawny.
Her assets aren't that scrawny.[br]She's the Wilbury heiress.
And you know who the Wilburys are[br]in America?
They're worth millions and own[br]half of Chicago's slaughter houses!
I'm not surprised. She looks like[br]someone who kills little animals.
It doesn't seem to bother Philippe.[br]He says he's going to marry her.
Oh no it's not true... It's not true...
Yes it is. Now you know[br]what kind of a bastard he is.
Now I've also got the hiccups.
Come with me. I'm already late.[br]We'll speak in the cab...
I don't want to go out. I can't.
Come I beg you.
I'm too ugly right now...
Promise me that you won't[br]let yourself down.
I promise.
Be strong.
What a bastard he is!
See? You should have taken[br]your revenge last night.
You're right. Now I'm going[br]to take my revenge.
And right now...
Colomba cross my heart hope to die!
I swear that I will get revenge[br]against Barbara Wilbury.
What does your grandmother[br]have to do with it?
You don't know Colomba's story...[br]of course.
The day of her wedding in our small[br]village near Bastia...
Colomba learned that her fiancé was[br]taking off with a Parisian woman...
- Like you.[br]- Yes like me.
And you know what she did?
Yeah she committed suicide.
What about hell?[br]She went for murder.
She killed him in front of the mayor I bet.
You really don't get it. She couldn't kill[br]him because she was in love with him.
- She killed the Parisian woman![br]- Wow!
And of course she was acquitted.
And her fiancé was so impressed with[br]her that he married her the next day.
- He was my grandpa Napoleon.[br]- The Emperor?
You're so dumb![br]All Corsicans are named Napoleon.
- And you want to do the same?[br]- Yeah.
That will teach Philippe a lesson.[br]He always thinks that I'm stupid.
I don't want to disappoint you...
...but Paris is not Ajaccio...
- It wasn't Ajaccio it was Bastia![br]- Okay Bastia then.
How do you want to do it?[br]Poisoning takes too long...
Guns make too much noise...
And pushing her from a cliff[br]you have to find a cliff first.
Why so complicated?[br]I'll use a rifle like Colomba!
- A rifle...[br]- Don't worry I know where to get one.
What is it young man?
Is Sophie gone already?
Yes Miss Sophie has already left for work...
...courageously in her little car[br]like a nice girl.
- She's wonderful.[br]- Yes she's wonderful.
But what are you doing here[br]by her window?
There were some extraordinary[br]circumstances yesterday...
Extraordinary is right. This is the first time[br]I've seen a man here.
- You're not saying that just to please me.[br]- I swear...
...on my Purple Heart that[br]I was awarded in Verdun in...
Anyway... what are your intentions?
- Well you know...[br]- You'd better not hurt her!
What's your... financial situation?[br]Are you... doing alright?
I'm a surgeon.
It's great. I trust her to choose what's best.[br]I'm sure you're a good man.
Since you mentioned it I...
My God the surgery!
Surgeons are intelligent guys[br]and they make good money.
Don't worry pal. It's minor surgery.
So...?
- I'm in love.[br]- No where?
There.
- Poor you.[br]- That's not sad... Maybe it is...
Why? She's not good in bed?
- I don't know.[br]- How come you don't know?
Because you didn't...?
Nope.
Relax.
I love a girl who loves someone else[br]and I won't see her for 20 years.
Why? You've fallen out already?
- My leg.[br]- Stop fretting!
- She wants to kill Barbara.[br]- And it's going to take her 20 years?
- You go to jail for a crime of passion.[br]- That's true.
But those in love never age.
- Tell her not to kill her in Seine-et-Oise.[br]- Why?
Remember what they did to Landru[br]in Versailles?
No not now not now.
You really think that...
Yep.
What?
Nothing nothing.[br]They're so sensitive this year!
Let's go.
- Sir...[br]- Don't worry. Everything is going to be fine.
If you want my opinion[br]you'd better move on.
It's hard enough to deal with a woman[br]let alone a murderess!
- But I'm in love with her.[br]- Go and tell that to the judge in court.
Varnier the doctor is asking for you.
- Beware![br]- Watch out you!
Sir your colleague...
He got the wrong leg!
It's too late now!
- Alain Varnier.[br]- Hi!
- Is the dress ready?[br]- In two seconds.
I came to see you to discuss an[br]important and urgent matter with you.
Alain Varnier...[br]I was at the Flore cafe yesterday.
I came to tell you that I went out with...[br]you know who.
And?
- This morning she told me...[br]- You don't waste any time do you?
Tell her whatever you want.[br]I don't have time right now.
She told me she was going to kill her.
Who? The baker's wife?
No the woman you were with.
Start without me.[br]Come here...
I know Sophie inside and out.
She may not be well-bred[br]but she's harmless.
- Yet at the cafe yesterday...[br]- I appreciate your telling me.
But if it troubles you I can assure you[br]Barabara's not in danger.
You can sleep soundly[br]and so can Barbara.
Now if you 'd excuse me I have to work.
Please don't look at me like that!
Before leaving she told me[br]that she knew where to get a rifle.
- Why not a bazooka?[br]- Family tradition.
I can picture her entering[br]a tobacco shop...
"Ma'am a pack of cigarettes please[br]and a rifle. It's for a murder."
Ah she...
- She told you she knows where to get one?[br]- Verbatim.
Marie-Jeanne where's the rifle?
In its case in front of you.
- Was Sophie here this morning?[br]- Yes for two minutes.
What did she want?
She said she forgot something and then left.
Where can she be...
Downstairs.
Shit.
You can say that again.
We're being silly.[br]The gun wasn't even loaded.
She had two hours to buy cartridges.
You think she did?
I wouldn't give a damn[br]if it wasn't for Barbara...
She's on her way and I can't get[br]a hold of her to warn her.
Sophie may well be trying[br]to shoot her in a few minutes.
I'm going to tell her that you were[br]already gone. You went far away.
That's it. Besides it's true.[br]I'm leaving for Villars-de-Lans tonight.
You know Barbara means a lot to me.
Maybe you should go down[br]and tell her to calm down.
- It's better you go.[br]- All right.
Please hurry up. We only have[br]a few seconds left. Be strong...
You shouldn't pity me.
You want to come and see the shot?
What are you doing here?[br]I thought you were at the hospital?
You can start the car.[br]There's nobody upstairs.
You're sure?
I've just been there.[br]Where were you this morning?
You're a nice guy. But we won't[br]see each other very often.
Careful it's loaded.
- Going somewhere?[br]- Yes.
To Villars-de-Lans. Like Philippe.
With this.
- You'd better try something else.[br]- Like what?
Like making him jealous.[br]It usually works.
I like that.
I arrive there tomorrow find a guy who[br]is after me and make Philippe jealous.
- And he dumps Barbara![br]- And he dumps nothing at all.
If you look for a guy there[br]Philippe will know immediately.
No what you need to do[br]is arrive with a guy already.
You of course! Would you be[br]ready to come with me?
Anything to help you.
So you have 37000 and I have 45000.
7 plus 5 makes... 12.[br]So we have 82000 francs.
I think we can make it if we spend sparingly.
I'll come and pick you up at 7:00.[br]I have to tell them I'm leaving at work.
We're just pretending that we're in love.[br]Is that clear?
- Business trip like partners.[br]- All right. See you later.
Good evening.
Good evening.[br]He loves me he loves me not...
- This is how you see partnership?[br]- Yes.
So good night!
- They wouldn't let you?[br]- No we tried everything.
But they said the train was completely full.
Let me tell you that's not the way[br]we were planning our wedding night!
- And where's your wife?[br]- There.
There?
Here?
Are you married yourself?
No but I'd sure like to be...
...definitely.
- Beautiful girl.[br]- If you want my advice...
We're going to switch berths with[br]your wife OK?
What about the young lady?
- She's my fiancé.[br]- Excellent!
You dropped this.
You're lucky to be married.
Sleep tight.
It's not fair that I'm here alone in this[br]train while others are happily married.
Hey miss... Ma'am!
Alain!
Shit!
What are you doing in that bed?
- I'm being a nice guy...[br]- What?
When I saw this young couple traveling[br]in separate berths you know me...
I decided to give them my bed.
I can't help it. I love people to be happy.
- Where does it hurt?[br]- I can't tell you.
I'm a surgeon you know.
So prepare me some compresses.[br]I can't walk anymore.
But let me tell you that if you act[br]foolishly again I'll ring the bell.
Mademoiselle. It's 8 o'clock.
Come on Miss wake up.
Lazy! It's 8:00.
16000 francs a day![br]Is that really your cheapest price?
We do not have a "cheapest price" Miss.[br]That's the official price.
What about without a bathroom?[br]Maybe you can go down to 8000?
Miss we don't have any room without[br]a bathroom.
So there's really nothing cheaper?[br]You're sure?
Yes there's cheaper...
...in other hotels.
- Shall I take your luggage upstairs?[br]- Wait a minute!
What about going back to Paris?
- We're here now...[br]- We're here!
Exactly. I'm here to stay[br]like Cambronne used to say.
- Cambronne really?[br]- Oh shit.
Are you nuts? 16000 francs a night?
Do you think that breakfast is included?
- So do you want the room?[br]- Yes yes.
But I need to make a call before.[br]Is there a phone box anywhere?
Yes which number do you want?
112.
- But that's the hotel number![br]- Then room 112.
- You know somebody in room 112?[br]- Of course not!
But I wanted to be able[br]to talk to you privately.
So we only have...
48000 francs left.
That's going to last us 3 days without[br]counting the food. It's going to be hard.
- Who's this?[br]- It's me Sophie.
- Who was it?[br]- Who was it...
Take that jerk.[br]That's from Sophie.
She hung up. So what are we doing?
We kiss. We're lovers aren't we?
Try to think instead. We have to be[br]in the same hotel as Philippe.
- Please be nice. We'll be very quiet.[br]- That's not the point Miss.
- What about room 12A?[br]- Yes that's true!
Is room 12A cheaper?
Room 12A is available. But do not[br]expect the luxury...
As long as we can lie... I mean sleep...
It's 6000 francs a day service[br]and taxes not included.
Wonderful! We'll refer to you our friends.
It's not that bad room 12A right?
It's not really a room.[br]But you're both young. It will do.
Is it still far?
No it's right here Miss.
It's not great. But we still have the[br]same snow as the other guests.
You think you're on vacation?
- What shall I do with it?[br]- Hang it on the wall.
Good afternoon.
What is wrong with her?
What kind of a room is this?
Look!
Oh geez.
Did you see that?
- We're not going to starve to death.[br]- I wish it was jam.
You're never happy. When I was a little girl[br]I had a rabbit named Pickle.
Did you always want to become a[br]model when you were a little girl?
You're kidding! I wanted to be a pilot[br]like Guynemer...
Were you like you are now?
No I was crazy and irritable. It's amazing[br]how you change when you grow older.
Unbelievable! I'm going[br]to show them who I am.
Hello what do you think you're doing?
6000 francs a night.
I mean... is Philippe Belmas[br]in his room please?
He went to the Bobsled racing?
Do you know he almost won the[br]French championship last year.
He made the best time for the first[br]50 meters then he missed a turn.
No do not wake up Miss Wilbury.
We have 48 hours to make Philippe[br]jealous after that...
- What are you doing?[br]- He may be watching us.
Make sure he is first.
See he's not here!
What about over there?
- What shall we do?[br]- Look as if you're in love.
No with me!
And don't forget to call me "darling".
Not Alain but "Alain darling"[br]or "Alain honey."
Yes Alain.
What did I just tell you?
Yes Alain darling.
Kiss me.
What a surprise to see you here!
Hello bad snowy girl![br]Do you mind...?
Hello Philippe hon... hello.
I guess you don't know each other.
Philippe Belmas... Alain Honey...[br]Alain Varnier.
That suits you to be in love[br]you know.
- Is that all you have to say?[br]- No.
I forgive you for the incident at the Flore cafe.
- What's the matter with you?[br]- Nothing. I just saw a friend over there.
Actually I'll think of it as a dear[br]and pleasant remembrance.
- No![br]- Yes.
You always had a knack for putting[br]an abrupt end to uneasy situation.
I guess you can say that right?
- You're not very psychologically minded.[br]- Where is she off to?
- To shoot Barbara![br]- We must stop her. Hurry!
- Surely that was better than the Austrians.[br]- Really?
Quite right Mr. Belmas.[br]Second fastest today. Congratulations!
Second?
After the previous bob 1-19-4...
- Where is it?[br]- Over there.
She's already at the hotel.
- Your key Miss![br]- Oh yes my key.
What are you doing here?[br]I thought you didn't like skiing.
No I don't. But I'm working here.[br]I became a fakir.
So you're not a prince anymore?
Of course I am. But before I was a prince[br]spending all his money in night clubs.
Now I'm a prince whose bread and[br]butter are night clubs.
- What are you doing with that?[br]- I'm going to kill somebody.
- Right now?[br]- Yes.
I don't need to know. Private life is sacred.
I'm sure that I can help.[br]Have you tried everything else?
Everything.
Sit down.
Oh sorry!
- Did you try hypnosis?[br]- No.
You want to?
Do you think that you can make[br]Philippe love me with hypnosis?
Of course.[br]Come in.
What about if something goes wrong?
What if Philippe falls in love with Alain?[br]Alain is...
You don't trust me?
I do. But it's very important to me.
I need to be perfectly sure that you[br]can do whatever you say. Understand?
Why don't you try it on him?
But...
What do you want me[br]to have him do?
Have him go and kiss the statue.
- Two shots![br]- You sure it's the rifle?
You can't mistake it.
- Is there something wrong?[br]- My focus...
Noise is the fakir's worst enemy.
I don't even know if can wake him up.
- Who's there?[br]- Henri Laverne. It's urgent.
- Did the lady from 12A come back yet?[br]- 10 minutes ago.
Oh my God.
- Your key Mr. Belmas![br]- Oh yes my key.
- I'm coming. I'm in the tub![br]- Who's that?
My boss at the club. Imagine if he sees[br]that I cannot wake people up!
My contract would be cancelled in a minute.[br]I'd die!
Come on cheer up.[br]We've got to do something.
We're going to hide him. I'm going to[br]put him in a state of levitation.
- In a state of what?[br]- Levitation.
It eliminates gravity.[br]Open the door quickly!
You're going to throw him through[br]the window?
No we're going to put him in the other room.
Take him.[br]Lay him down.
Sorry.
Pardon me.
What a day really!
I would've never thought she'd do it.
Look!
Sophie must have thought he was[br]Barbara and shot him twice.
- Great![br]- What do you mean "great"?
It means that Barbara is safe.
We still have a corpse to deal with!
We should put him in another room[br]somewhere safer.
We can get 10 years for aiding[br]and abetting criminals. Maybe 20.
- He's definitely dead.[br]- You think?
Help me carry him.
- He's stiff already![br]- It must be the climate.
You're a pretty strong guy.
Me? I'm not doing anything. Look.
Me neither.
Look he's moving.
- You're not dead?[br]- No.
- What about the lady?[br]- Which lady?
Get your hands off her!
What happened?
A young blond girl with a gun had[br]a Hindu guy put me under hypnosis.
She locked the door and she said...[br]What did she say...? Oh yeah.
"You're sure you can make people[br]do whatever you want?"
- Did she really say that?[br]- Exactly like that.
With a weird kind of sneer on her face.
She's even more dangerous than I thought.
Imagine that! The perfect crime[br]a crime under hypnosis.
- Can I go now?[br]- Yes.
You got it now? If you really[br]give a damn about Barbara...
You have a way of putting things...
The only solution is to pretend that[br]you're jealous.
You're talking too fast. I don't understand.
That's okay dear. Everything is fine.
I'm sure that it's going to end badly[br]very badly.
I remember last year the guy who[br]killed his whole family in his sleep.
Well trust me. Just pretend you're[br]jealous and I'll take care of the rest.
- Thank you.[br]- It's the least we can do between us men.
Very bad.[br]Very very bad.
My dear little Sophie...
I have been thinking a lot.
And I've just spoken to Philippe.[br]Everything is fine.
You're kidding me. It's a disaster!
It's your fault.
It's not me who's in love with Barbara[br]I'm imagining it all?
You really think Philippe is[br]in love with Barbara?
You can tell these things right away.
That's the point. Nobody can tell it[br]as far as we're concerned.
You must let me hold you in my arms.
I need to kiss you on the lips.[br]Like real love birds.
OK let's go back!
No not now. Philippe has suspicions.[br]You know what he told me earlier:
"If you were really in love you wouldn't[br]have checked in at the same hotel."
- He really thinks about everything![br]- And so do I.
Tonight we're going to the Bistrot Club.[br]It's the place to go.
He won't see us for the whole day.[br]He's going to worry.
Good idea. I'm going to rest now.[br]I need to look great for tonight.
What are you doing?
What you've just said taking a nap.
I didn't say in the same bed.
I've had more than enough[br]of sleeping on the floor.
First the mattress at your place then[br]the sleepless night on the train.
Off the bed now!
OK I'll be the one leaving you the bed.
- Where am I?[br]- In the bathtub.
What is it that made you yell like that?
- I dreamt about you. It was awful![br]- Thanks.
You got lost in the mountains. I came[br]to your rescue with a big St. Bernard.
As I rushed towards you...
- That's a hell of a dream...[br]- Let me finish.
As I was about to save you[br]a big avalanche started.
And it woke me up!
- I'm starving![br]- Me too.
I'd love a nice fondue with[br]a good bottle of white wine.
- Where are you off to?[br]- To the restaurant with you.
No way! Then we won't have a penny[br]for going to the club.
You never told me that we were going[br]on a hunger strike.
It's a breach of trust.
Stay here!
Go and sit on the bed.
I am sorry sir[br]but we only have red wine.
It doesn't matter "garcon".
- For you.[br]- Thank you.
- Some more red little soldier?[br]- With pleasure!
You're okay?
I'm still hungry.
Wait. I'm going to see in the kitchen.
Oh surprise!
No no!
Don't be silly.[br]We're going to eat this one! Come here.
Is there a spoon somewhere?
"Let's watch this treasure[br]of Florentine graces!
"Undulating her muscular body...
"Full of elegance and power...
"This woman is a piece of miracle...
Don't you dare calling me a "piece"!
- It's not me that was Baudelaire.[br]- Oh sorry.
Don't move like that.
Can you help me zip my dress.
- Do you know how adorable you look?[br]- If anything I'll make a nice housewife.
Listen it's La Bamba!
Louder!
I'm exhausted.
What's wrong?
Look!
- It's the dog from my dream! Don't touch him![br]- Don't be scared.
See... he's real.
No it's fake.[br]There's no rum barrel.
- How did he manage to get in?[br]- That doesn't seem to be a problem.
Oh poor dog. What about taking him[br]back to Paris with us?
Instead of Philippe? Sure!
I can't believe I almost forgot.
- Who Philippe?[br]- No the night-club.
And the dog?
We'll take him and check him with the coats.
We have a party of four here.
And now for the first time in Villars-de-Lans...
...let's welcome Rita Campbell[br]the dancer who will make you dream.
Let's dance?
Again?!
What do you mean "again"?
- Did he hurt you?[br]- Oh yes a lot!
Really charming this girl...
I like her awkwardness.[br]Why are you kicking her like that?
That's true...
- Do you think I didn't see you?[br]- Let me explain...
Are you friends with the guy she's[br]dancing with. He's quite sexy!
Don't you think you're pushing it too far?[br]There's a place for that. It's called a bed.
It's working it's working!
I can't believe it!
- Did I hurt you?[br]- A lot.
Why are you laughing then?
It shows that you're jealous.
And if you're jealous you're in love.
And if you're in love[br]you don't love Philippe anymore.
So you're in love with me.
- What are you doing?[br]- I'm thinking.
Our first kiss...
The second.
Now there needs to be a third.
You understand now.[br]It happened because of you.
Are you done or what?
I'm asking if you're done!
Shut up!
And tonight with us in Villars-de-Lans[br]the magician who's never wrong...
His Highness[br]the Prince Shribouyoune Bayane!
Ladies and Gentlemen...
For his first act of hypnosis...
the prince will need the assistance of[br]two volunteers.
There's nothing to fear.
Just a five minute trip into the[br]fabulous land of the Maharadjahs.
No not me. I'm married[br]I'm the father of three.
I'm not a coward but what can one do[br]against someone who has you hypnotized?
We should go back to the table.[br]Two nice girls waiting for us helpless.
When you think about it.
- Why don't you go with your charm.[br]- No you go. You have more authority.
I've heard that somewhere before.
I see a beautiful young lady whose[br]name is like... barbarian.
Yes that's it! Barbara![br]Am I right?
I also see something yellow.
It's pretty but very dangerous.
There's a man who wants this yellow thing.[br]Beware...
- Who is Barbara?[br]- I'm here!
Good luck woman of the West!
I didn't understand a thing.[br]But that was marvelous.
You didn't understand?
The yellow thing it's your money.[br]I mean your gold.
And Philippe is with you because[br]he's after your money.
You're crazy. Philippe is a gentleman.
Besides he didn't even try to...
Precisely! When a Frenchman doesn't[br]try to sleep with an American woman...
...something fishy is going on.[br]- Really?
Well if you ask me...
You're loaded and he's not trying to sleep[br]with you. What do you think is normal?
Thanks for telling me Sophie.[br]I know what I must do now.
- Wait let me explain.[br]- I don't want to hear it. It's over!
But I swear that...
The pie was not enough for you!
I thought you were little idiot.[br]I was wrong you're a little bitch.
I don't care what you think now.
Luckily for me there are guys[br]in this world who are not like you.
There are men who are sweet[br]unselfish and willing to help.
- Alain for example?[br]- Exactly.
Alain wouldn't hang around[br]a woman for her money.
Okay but if I were you[br]I wouldn't be that naive.
What are you trying to say?
Alain has been lying to you[br]since the beginning.
I saw him at the studio yesterday[br]and again today at the bobsleds.
He's the one who told me[br]to pretend to be jealous.
The only thing that matters to him is to[br]do anything so he can sleep with you.
You don't believe this phony do you?
- Is it true or not?[br]- Let me explain...
Don't you dare touch me!
I think you're really going to[br]make me break your neck.
- Forget it! It's a mess.[br]- No kidding!
We're both in the same boat.
We have to act. And quickly.
The only difference is that I love Sophie[br]whereas you don't care for Barbara.
You have other American and French girls.
Is that what you think?
You're wrong. I love her[br]whether she's rich or poor.
- So it's another story...[br]- Yes... whisky?
Make it double.
Both of them.
- We have to show them who we are.[br]- That's right!
The strong way always prevails.
Cheers!
Love for us...
...or death for them!
It's a deal.
- You know what you are buddy?[br]- No.
You're a great guy.
No buddy.[br]I know women that's all.
Sure you know them.[br]But you're still a great guy.
- Which room are you 104 or 106?[br]- Not too sure right now.
Let's try 106!
- Have a good night.[br]- Hold on I'm coming with you.
There you go brother 112. Good luck!
And to you brother!
They're going to see what stuff[br]we're made of those two!
So she doesn't want to be disturbed.
Open the door now! Let's get to it!
Open the door or I break it down!
The gentle little Alain is no more!
Oh sorry.
- What is it?![br]- It's Alain.
Did you say: "Lets get to it"?
Alain Varnier.
Ah it's Alain and you're gonna tell me[br]you've never seen him before?
That this is the first time in your bed?
Absolutely!
You'll see what I'm going to do to you.
She's got some strength Barbara!
- There must have been a mistake.[br]- So yours is 102. No 106!
Mine is 112... No it's 12A!
- So let's go![br]- Let's go to war!
So that's what you want!
Yes that's the way it is!
- You're going to see who I am![br]- Wait till you see who I am!
- You said that I was after your money?[br]- Yes.
- And you really believe that?[br]- Yes.
- Let me tell you something...[br]- Let me tell you something...
- I couldn't care less for your dough![br]- I've had enough of your scheming.
- It's too late now![br]- I knew it! Leave now!
- I'm not finished yet![br]- Don't you dare touch me.
- How much is this necklace worth?[br]- Three million.
And that's what I do with it.[br]Dior... Chanel... Balmain...
Put that globe down.
Come down.
Come close.
Closer.
You said I only wanted to take[br]advantage of the situation?
That is true.
- And that's what you really believe?[br]- Yes.
Then I won't disappoint you.[br]Get undressed...
- Why...[br]- You'll see.
You're not gonna shoot.
Here you are.
- The rest too.[br]- Everything?
Everything.
Turn around.
Turn around!
- Hands up![br]- I prefer to die!
You really want to?
You have a mother?
Yes.
She's alive?
Yes.
Swear on her life that[br]you'll do everything I say.
Swear or die!
I swear.
Come here.
Closer.
Here.
Put your arms around me.
Repeat..."Alain I love you."
Alain I love you.
No better than that.
Alain I love you.
You can do better.
I love you.
Kiss me.
Now I can tell you.[br]I never would have killed you.
I took the cartridges out[br]when you were putting your shoes on.
- It's called abuse of power.[br]- Yes.
All's well that ends well!
The echo!
No my love. It's an avalanche.
Help!
Mommy!
It was loaded then?
So yesterday you would have[br]killed me if I had resisted you...
And you would have gone to jail.[br]You must really love me then!
Will you forgive me?
No photographers!